What if it's all just too much?
by jaymamazing98
Summary: Gary and Miranda was best friends, but Gary had left Miranda in 4 years and had now come back. What will happen now? Will their friendship still continue as it was or will they finally show their love for each other?
1. Chapter 1

_What if it's all just too much?_

**_Chapter 1_**

Ever since the first time Miranda had seen Gary after all those years she couldn't get her eyes off him, she knew she had been in love with him at uni and it was really hard to get away from her feelings but she actually thought she would feel different after all these years they had spent sepererated from each other.

They had been best friends since as long as she could remember and when Gary moved away, she was totally a mess and it was all just a hell in the beginning. As time went by, it became easier to live without him, even if they had only been friends, she knew she wanted more from him back then. But then he surprised her 2 weeks ago, he had moved back to London and was actually working next door.

Why did he have to do that? She was sure she wouldn't be able to get over him a second time. When she saw him at the restaurant, she was as shocked that she couldn't move, she couldn't think, she just stood there, panicking. And as always, things got awkward when she freaked out and started posing and making the biggest smile she could ever do. Then he looked up, seeing her for the first time in years.

"MIRANDA? HI, how are you?!" Gary asked. He said walking nearer her. She continued standing like that, smiling.

"Are you okay? It looks like you're in pain" He said again.

"No, no I'm fine, It's just trapped wind" She said and let go and looked at him, how gorgeous was he? There was so many flashbacks going through her head.

Since that moment they had spent every day with each other, she either went to the restaurant, eating a meal or he went to her store to have a chat with her. Or some nights, he'd even taken her out, but he made it sure it was only as friends, which Miranda had been disappointed about. Because the fact that he had been exactly this at uni, they obviously had chemistry between them and she felt like he just ignored it and she was tired of waiting.

They were going out tonight again and he had told her to dress up really nice, he was taking her to a very fancy restaurant. He made Miranda feel so unsure all the time, Stevie had told her that he obviously had feelings for her because why would he take her out on romantic dates just as friends? But Miranda didn't want to get the wrong perception in case that he didn't have feelings for her.

She was taken away with her day dreaming by the doorbell ringing and realised it must be Gary. She opened the door and there he stood, in a black suit and a white shirt under that was a little unbottoned. He literally took her breath away. She wore a red dress that shaped her body perfectly and a white cardigan over the dress. She had curled her hair and had put make up on.

"Wow, you look beautiful" He said.

"You don't look that bad yourself" They shared a smile and started walking to the restaurant.

They reached to the restaurant and they got their table. Gary helped Miranda with her chair as she sat down and Gary sat down himself after. They both ordered seafood risotto with white wine and a cremebbrulee as dessert. They were waiting for their food and sat andchatted about a lot of things. "It seems like things went smootly when I was gone, Even if it was for 4 years" Gary said. "Yeah.. Well it didn't go as good as you think Gary, my best friend left mewith only a goodbye, I know you'll say that I had Stevie and I know, I wouldn't have gone trough what I did without her by my side but it was terrible without you here. Knowing that I probably would never see you again. We spend over 5 years together, both at uni and after and then just one day, you were gone, how can you expect me to be okay with that?" "I'm sorry, I just, I'm here now, It's okay" "No it's not okay Gary, because you can't think that you can go away for 4 years and find everything the same as you left. I've changed as a person since you left, maybe you can't really see it but I've grown up. I'm still as awkward as ever but I started living a new Life Gary, a new life without you." "I'm so sorry, I don't know what to do, all I can do is to try to be here for you, to make up for lost times" "Yeah" Miranda said and smiled. They were interrupted by their food that was now standing on their table. After they had eaten, they paid for their dinner and started walking home. The food was delicious. As they reached Miranda's flat he grabbed her hands looking into her eyes but she slowly looked down to their tied hands. She let go of her hands and Gary looked at her confused. "Gary.. I'm so sorry, I can't, like I said earlier, it's been terrible without you here.. I went through a tough time and I nearly didn't make it through and now you're showing up again and I don't know what to do-" "Just give me a chance to make it right" "No, let me speak, I'm tired of waiting Gary, I don't know how to say this... I was in love with you at uni, you must have realised that, I must have given you signs. And after you went, i really wanted to forget you, I wanted to let my feelings disappear and I started dating other people but I just ended up even worse because it didn't work. Then I got through it with Stevie's help and I can't go through it again, I can't risk it. I still have strong feelings for you and I'm waiting for you to realise that I'm right here! I'm waiting for you to just open your eyes and realise. I've waited 9 years and I'm just about to give up. I'm going away to Dublin tomorrow and I don't know if I'll be coming back. I need to go away from everything, to start a new life." She saw how Gary got tears in his eyes. "But, Please don't go away, we can work it out" "No, don't make it worse than it already is, we can't Gary, we can't make it the way it was and I don't want it the way it was, i'm tired of it. I'm so so tired of this and ugh, you're making me angry... SO DON'T YOU DARE GARY!" Miranda felt a tear falling down her cheek as she looked Gary in the eyes. She didn't want to argue with him, but it seemed like she didn't have a choice, he didn't understand. "Miranda.. You're not being fair" "I'M NOT BEING FAIR? YOU WERE THE ONE LEAVING ME, THINKING I WOULD BE OKAY WITHOUT YOU, IF YOU'D NEVER LEFT THIS WOULDN'T HAPPEN RIGHT NOW!" "Don't you realise that you're doing exactly the same thing to me?" "Yes but maybe it's for the best, it's already ruined Gary, it's too late to fix this" and with that, she gazed into his eyes for the last time. Taking his tear away with her hand and then went in to kiss his cheek. "Atleast i'm not leaving without you knowing that I love you" she said teasing him. "Bye Gary" With that, she left and he looked at her direction in minutes hoping she would decide to come back. It was too late, he thought to himself: What have I done? I have just let my best friend, yet the one I cared for the most in life go away. What am I? Stupid? Oh how he regretted that he had gone away in the first place. She had just told him she loved him and he had just been standing there, practically saying nothing. It was too late now, nothing could ever make her stay. 


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2**

_**I know this chapter is short but I got some Reviews and they wanted me to continue with this, the ending is pretty sad but don't give up quite yet ;). I'll be continuing with this as long as people want to read it :) Glad you liked it. **_

Miranda woke up, the sun from the window dazzled her eyes as she sat up, realising she had only slept 3 hours this night, and she was going away in 3 hours to the train station. She got up, deciding to pure up a glass of orange juice and make some scrambled eggs. She got herself ready, not caring to put on more than some mascara. She grabbed her bags and said goodbye to her flat, oh how much she would miss it.

Miranda went down to the store and saw Stevie standing behind the desk, Stevie looked up and as fast as she Heard Miranda, she got a sad face and ran to her and hugged her.

"I will miss you so much, little one" Miranda said resting her face on her head.

"Do take really good care of my flat"

"I will, I promise, are you really sure this is what you wants?"

"Yeah, totally"

"It's just for you to send me a text and i'll be coming to the train station to pick you up okay? If you ever wants to come home"

"Yeah, I know, you're the best friend, I don't know what I would have done without you."

"Me neither, having such fun with you! Oh wait a sec, for the last time" Stevie ran away with Miranda looking confused, she came back some seconds later. Stevie was hiding her arm behind her back and she was now showing it. And as fast as Miranda saw it, she started laughing.

"IT'S HEATHER!" Miranda said happily.

"Yeah, excuse me you tall woman!"

"RUDE!"

"WHAT HAVE YOU DONE TODAY TO MAKE YOU FEEL PROUD?" Miranda laughed.

"You're hilarious, love oo you little one"

"Love oo too"

"Let me just get to the restaurant to say goodbye and I'll be coming back so we can go to the train station"

"Okay, do so, i'll be here waiting. Good luck" Miranda smiled at Stevie as she left the store.

As fast as Gary heard the door open, he looked up, seeing her standing there. His Miranda, and she would be gone soon. She was so naturally beautiful, standing in one pair of jeans and a cozy long cardigan. She was looking into his eyes, wondering if she was doing the right thing. But she just couldn't leave without a proper goodbye. And so, she went to the bar desk.

"Hi" Gary said.

"Hi"

"So you're really leaving?"

"Yeah, starting my new life"

"Do you want anything? A drink?"

"No, i'm only here to say goodbye for the last time, can I please get a goodbye hug?"

"Ofcourse" he went around the desk and wrapped his arms around her. She was inhaling his smell. So manly, she would miss it so much. She never wanted to let go but she had to. He whispered in her ear: "please don't go away, please" and she nodded. He knew exactly what that meant. After a few seconds they let go and he gave her upperarm a little squeeze.

"I'll miss you so much, Miranda"

"I'll miss you to" she smiled at him. She took her bags and went out, thank god she didn't fall over on her way out.

"Miranda!" She heard someone yell.

"I love you too" she Heard him say, the 3 Little Words she's been waiting for him to say for years, she turned around and saw Gary smiling as she started smiling too. But it was too late to say that now. She was going, for good.


	3. Chapter 3

_**Chapter 3**_

One week had passed since Miranda had left London to go to Dublin. Gary couldn't concentrate on anything, he was depressed and he didn't know what to do. Stevie had tried to support him but it didn't really work and Stevie took the decision not to tell Miranda about his condition. He was nothing without her, he felt like he could just give up now. But then he realised, this was exactly the thing Miranda had gone through and it was then the guilt came to him. How could he have left her in the first place? it was and would probably be the biggest mistake of his life. He had taken a break from the restaurant and Clive had hired a guy to work there till Gary felt that he could come back. He was such a mess and all he wanted was to Miranda to be there beside him, just holding him in her arms and never let go. Gary had tried to call Miranda the other day but she hadn't picked up which made him even more worried and sad. He wanted her to know how much he regretted everything. All the decisions he had made. Miranda had started her new life very well, she had now got all of her things into her new flat in Dublin and had gotten a work as a waitress, until she would find something better. Even if she missed London, Stevie, the joke shop, her mother and Gary, she knew this was for the best. Oh how she missed Gary. She had talked with Stevie on the phone 3 times since she left tho and Stevie had told her not to worry and that everyone would be okay. What that now meant but Miranda didn't want put too much time on it. It was now time to start living her new life, start making friends. 2 months later. Gary had finally come back to work, he had given up, it was obvious that Miranda wouldn't come back, he had tried to start living his life, including living it without her. He figured out going back to work would be the first step. He hadn't heard from Miranda since she left, he had asked Stevie if she could ask Miranda why she isn't calling him back but he hadn't gotten an answer. There was a lovely girl Rose tho, that used to eat lunch at the restaurant and Gary thought about maybe asking her out, he could need it, even if he didn't want to forget Miranda, he needed to start thinking about other women. Miranda had start dating a man called Mike, he was so generous and very caring. It wasn't anything serious between them tho because they had only been going out for 2 weeks but it felt good to have a man who actually didn't run away from her. She had met 3 girls at her work too that she had invited over for dinner a few times, even if she can't cook, but she solved that absolutely great. She just ran to the store to buy some finished cooked food, perfect. And Mike had taken her out on a date to dine this evening and they had gone back to her flat in Dublin. He had kissed her for the first time. She couldn't believe how amazing he was. "Do you ever miss the life in London? You must miss your friends and parents" Mike asked. "Of course I do, I miss my best friend Stevie so much, and Gary, and even mum and dad, which is a shock" They both started laughing. "So, who is this Gary?" Miranda froze, she didn't know what to say, how would she describe him? "Uhm, he was, uhm, well, I fancied him at uni and we were best friends but then he went away for years and got back some weeks before I moved here." "Oh, it's none of my business but was it awkward between you?" "Not really, he pretended like nothing had happened and I couldn't deal with that, especially because I realised I was still in love with him and that's why I moved from there. Because when he was gone all those years, i went through a hell and I couldn't dare to risk going through it again" "Aww, I'm sorry, well maybe things happened for the best" "Yeah, I'm happy I'm here with you at the moment" They smiled at each other and kissed for one last time before Mike left for the night. _**What did you Think? Please leave a Review if you want me to continue this :).**_


	4. Chapter 4

_**Chapter 4**_

_**Hope you like this chapter, I'm sure you will. As usual, Review if you want me to continue! Thanks :) x**_

*6 months of living in Dublin*

Miranda and Mike had been a couple for 4 months now and things started to get serious between them. On the weekends they were staying over at the other and Miranda was really happy with him. Even if the thought of Gary went through her head sometimes, she quite often wondered what it would be like if Gary was Mike in this situation. But she always had to stop her thoughts before it went to long... A part of Miranda always wished that it was Gary being beside her instead of Mike but she tried not to think of it too much. Today was Mirandas and Mikes 4 months anniversary and they were going to celebrate at a really fancy restaurant and then head back to her flat. Penny had rang Miranda the week before asking if she could come visit and she had teased Miranda asking when their wedding would be and Miranda did only sigh.

Everything was great with Mike, although it was one thing that was missing. She couldn't find out what though because Mike was perfect. He was the most romantic guy ever. He talked about feelings, he was sweet. But he wasn't Gary... Even if he had those personalities that she had been searching for in Gary, he wasn't Gary and she didn't get the exactly feeling she got when she was with Gary. But they had only been seeing each other for 4 months and she felt more for Mike everyday. Miranda was getting herself ready to go out on her date with Mike. She wore a red dress with a black cardigan upon it. As she was putting on some mascara and brushed her hair the doorbell rang.

"COMING!" She shouted as she put the last mascara on. She was thinking it had to be Mike. She ran to the door and opened it. When she saw who it was, she got this feeling going through her body. She really couldn't describe the feeling, she couldn't even feel if it was a good or a bad feeling. Miranda opened with a big smile on her face but then as fast as she looked up and looked at him she froze. Gary. It was Gary.

"Hi" Gary managed to get out from his mouth. He rushed over to her and grabbed her face with his both hands as he gave her a lingering kiss. She didn't stop him, she even let him finish the kiss. When he let go of the kiss to get some air he looked her in her eyes.

"What" She gazed to the floor and then waited 5 seconds till she looked at him again. Taking a deep breath.

"What are you doing here?"

"I was going mad without you. I tried Miranda, I tried to live without you for 6 months, it didn't work. I need you back"

"Uhm oh god" Miranda put her hand to her mouth looking confused, she didn't know what to do.

"I don't know what to say"

"Why didn't you call me back? All I was getting was a 'she's alright' from Stevie. I got literally nothing from you"

"Well, I tried to give you my everything, you recieved it but you couldn't give me anything back"

"Don't bully me, you know how hard it was for me, I mean how hard it is for me"

"I'm sorry, you can't be here Gary."

"Are you going anywhere?" He asked as he looked at her body from feet to head, she was dressed up and she was so beautiful.

"Yeah, me and my boyfriend are going out to eat dinner" She couldn't help but look at his reaction when she said it. How heartbreaking it must have been hearing it. She didn't realised she had said it till after tho. Boyfriend? Did she have a boyfriend? She had literally moved on from everything, he was nothing to her anymore.

"Can you cancel it? We need to sit down and talk, it's important"

"It's our 4 months anniversary, but he isn't coming until half an hour" "Oh, you've been busy" he said as he sighed.

"Please come inside" She opened the door a bit more as he looked around in her flat, personally he thought her old one was better but he didn't really have time to think about that now. He sat down on a chair in the kitchen and she joined him beside him. He took her hand.

"Miranda, I have lived the worst 6 months of my life, Stevie have tried taken care of me but it mostly didn't work. She saw what I was like. The first week I barely ate anything, didn't sleep or went out of my apartment. At one time, I got as sick that a doctor came and he gave me extra nutrition. Then after that things got better and after a month I tried to start working again. I've called you everyday since you've left. But I didn't come here to tell you things so you feel bad for me because don't, I've caused this, I'm the only person to blame and I wish I wouldn't have left in the first place. I want you to come back with me, I want you to break up with your boyfriend and just slowly start living your life with me, because I, I love you Miranda. I never stopped loving you and I think I've loved you since the first day I got to know you. You're my best friend and I don't want to live my life without you anymore. London isn't the same without you, Stevie isn't the same without you, the restaurant and the joke shop aren't the same without you. Gary Preston isn't the same without you. Everything without you are just a living hell. I don't want to waste more time without you anymore and if you don't want to go with me to London. I'm moving to Dublin, even if it would mean us being only friends. Because I can't continue my life without you. You're the love of my life, you're my everything. I love you Miranda Hart"


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter 5 **

**Please Review after Reading if you want me to continue this haha! Hope you'll like this chapter! x**

She had tears in her eyes. She didn't know what to say, she was speechless.

"Oh dear, this, this was what I've waited for, for so long. But I hope you understand it's not that easy Gary."

"What do you want me to do? I will do whatever"

"I don't know, I'm in a relationship now and he's on his way here. I need you to give me time, Gary. I need one day to think for myself, I will cancel the date with Mike and you can check into the hotel for the night and I'll see you in the morning."

"Yes, of course, if that's what you need, i'll wait. I can wait my whole life if it means that we will end up together." He took her hand and firstly looked her in her eyes but then gazed at her hand. He kissed it and as his lips touched her hand, he took a deep breath from his nose.

"What is this? Why do you have a guy in your kitchen kissing your hand Miranda?" They both looked up and saw Mike standing there in the doorway.

"Oh, Mike! You're early! Oh my god, this is Gary, you know the guy I told you about."

"Oh you're the one that broke her heart?"

"Yeah, and I have regretted it ever since. It was the biggest mistake I've ever done. I'm inlove with your girlfriend, I've been inlove with her for 14 years and I think I will always be."

"But you messed everything up."

"That's why I'm here to say I'm sorry" He stopped looking at Mike and turned to look at Miranda instead.

"Miranda, I'm so so sorry for all the pain I've caused you, and to see that I've caused pain to so many others too just makes me sick. I didn't think of what I was doing, I was young and I had dreams. Now I realise I can never fulfull my dreams without you next to me. You know what I think about you now, and I've finally said it. I'll leave you two to it and I'll see you tomorrow." He gazed into her eyes for the last time before he went to the door, and on his way to the door, he went past Mike who didn't look happy at all. He closed the door behind him and took his bag to walk to the hotel. This would be the longest hours of waiting in his whole life.

Right in that moment, all that had happened this last 20 minutes just made her realise that she wasn't in love with Mike, she had never been and a part of her hoped that she could fall in love with him but there always was someone there who came to her thoughts everytime she thought about Mike. It was Gary, who could she be fooling? It was so obvious how inlove she was in him and she would probably ever be, even how much she didn't want to. She took a deep breath. Looked Mike in the eyes and went to him. She took his hands and led him to the table for them to sit down.

"It's our 4 months anniversary and I'm so sorry it ended this way. I can't go on the date with you tonight, it's too much to think about. I just need you to know that I haven't really been totally honest with you about my feelings."

"Before you say anything, I need to know, You're inlove with him aren't you? It's all I have to know" She nodded and saw the disappointment in his eyes.

"You'll always be Miranda, you can't move on from it, can you?"

"I'm afraid not, I'm so sorry. You're such an amazing guy Mike. You deserve so much better"

"As long as you're happy, Miranda." He gave her a little smile and kissed her on her cheek.

"Thank you for understanding. This months has been so great to me, don't ever think otherwise." He gave her a little smile and turned around and walked out of her flat. When he came to the doorway, he turned around and looked her in her eyes for the last time before closing the door behind him. She took a deep breath and rested her face in both of her hands. "What now?" She said to herself. She had three choices, either staying. Living her life as she had gone there to do. Or she could go back with him, but staying just friends. Or they could give it a go. She still had about 12 hours to choose.


	6. Chapter 6

**Chapter 6**

**_I'm having a feeling that you'll love this chapter. Enjoy!_**

Miranda woke up by the alarm ringing as she reached for it and shut it off. She slowly opened her eyes and got hit in the face by the sunlight. Of course she had forgot taking the curtains out, she had too much to think about last night. She felt a light headache and ran her hand over her forehead, trying to make it go away. She had a big decision to make and she had been awake half of the night thinking of what the best decision was. She had finally decided. Gary was coming over to hers in about half an hour. She better get ready.

In her daydreaming, she got disturbed by a knock on the door, as she let one last move with the hairbrush through her hair. She went to the door, grabbing the handle and took a deep breath before opening the door. Then she saw him standing there, he was so handome, she wrapped her arms around him. Lingering the hug. As she whispered in his ear:

_"__I just want you to know that whatever happends, i'm so happy that you're here and you'll always be my friend, no matter what"_ when he heard those words, he knew it, it hit him that she had choosen Mike and his stomach started to hurt the first second she had finished the sentence. She let go of him, looked down to his hands and saw him holding a big bouquet with pink roses.

_"__These are for you by the way"_ He handed her the flowers as she recieved them and put them on the table next to her.

_"__I'm glad we can be friends atleast, and I'm happy if you're happy, even if that's with Mike"_ He gazed to the floor, she knew that he didn't mean it. Of course he wouldn't be happy if she ended up with Mike.

_"__I know you wouldn't be happy if I choose Mike"_ She took his hand and led him into her apartment, ignoring the fact that they stood in the hall before. Miranda realised how a tear ran down Gary's cheek and he tried his best for her not to see it.

_"__Hey, why are you crying?"_ She wipped the tear away.

_"__You know why I'm Crying Miranda, I just want you."_

_"__You know I haven't even told you my decision yet."_ Gary looked her in the eyes as he waited for her to continue talking.

_"__I ended things with Mike, I told him I did have feelings for him but that I don't think I can ever fall in love with him, because there's _ _Always someone else who's in the way"_ She smiled and grabbed his hand and attached her fingers with his.

_"__When you told me you loved me yesterday, I fell even more in love with you and I didn't even think that was possible. You finally manned _ _up that's all I ever dreamed of."_ He started crying, even though this time it was happy tears.

_"__Will you please stop crying, it's killing me seeing you cry."_ He started smiling.

_"__Just go on, please"_ he begged her.

_"__I've been up half of the night, thinking of what to do and I've finally decided, I want us to be together, I've wanted that for the last 10_ _years to happen and I really don't want to waste another year, yet another day not being with you. I've been so stupid, I never should_ _have gone here but I guess it happened for a reason. Gary Preston, I love you, more than anything and I want to go with you back to_ _London, I want us to start our life for once. I love you so much. Oh god, come here"_ She threw her arms around his neck and kissed him fully on the lips as she groaned. He wrapped his arms around her shoulders and let his arms wander down her back to her waist. She let her hands through his hair.

_"__You taste amazing"_ she said between kisses. He couldn't stop himself from grinning.

_"__Not as amazing as you taste"_ She let go to get air as she gasped. She rested her head on his shoulder and held her hand on his chest.

_"__I thought you was actually going to choose Mike, I was sure of it"_

_"__Oh please, I could never choose him before you. You knew that"_

_"__Actually, no i didn't, he's so perfect"_ _"_

_Having a crush on my ex-boyfriend are we?"_

_"__Haha, exactly, that's why I've just been kissing you"_ He was being sarcastic and blinked at her.

_"__You know, I don't need perfect, I just need you"_ She said and grabbed his face with her both hands and guided his face to hers. She placed kisses all over his face, on his cheeks, his nose, his chin, his forehead. She wanted there to be no place unkissed. As she got to his lips, she kissed them aswell and he placed his tongue on her lips, begging her to let him explore her mouth. As she opened her lips and smiled. She grabbed his shirt to get him closer to her. As their tongues dancing together, he grabbed her legs and she jumped up into his embrace, wrapping her legs around his waist. He lead them to the desk in the kitchen and had Miranda leaned on it as he was positioned between her legs. He needed air, now. He let go and took a breath and then started kissing her neck instead. Placing kisses under her ear. _"__I want you and I need you"_ He said in between kisses.

_"__As much as I want you to, we should wait. I want to go home tonight, we can start moving furnitures next week. I just need to be in my _ _appartment in London tonight, with you by my side."_ She said and smiled as he caressed her thigh. He couldn't get enough of her. _"_

_I love you"_ he said and smiled.

_"I love you too"_

_"__Help me pack my things darling"_ She said and gave him a quick kiss before jumping to the floor. They packed her things and went to the train station one hour later.

_**Thanks for reading, not sure if I should continue this or if this should be the end. Please leave a Review to let me know what you Think I **_ _**should do.**_


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